TACKLING PROBLEM CHILDREN

Problems classified:
Psychologically, problems can be classified into two types. One type is the problems 'to the children' both physically and mentally. The other type is the problems 'by the children' in various matters affecting the whole atmosphere of the family.
Type.I problems are related to speech, handicapped, left handedness, bad dreams, nightmares, nails biting, thumb sucking, etc.
Type.II problems are related to delinquency, aggressiveness, bullying, obstinacy, temper tantrums, telling lies, sibling rivalry, etc.

Identifying the problems:
Type.I problems are normally physical problems while the others are mental based. The former can be identified and cured if proper medical care is taken. But the later can neither be easily identified nor be cured absolutely. The parents find it difficult when the second type problems are with their children. Only experts in psychology can analyze the problems by counseling and suggest remedy. The various ‘problems by the children’ are discussed as follows.

Delinquency:
We know stealing, gambling, cheating, violence, pick pocketing, raping and similar such antisocial acts are criminal natured. If any of one such is committed by an adult, he or she is punished with penalty or imprisonment or both. When such things are done by children upto twelve years, they are called delinquencies. Again they are of two types called potential delinquents and actual delinquents. When the criminal acts are at mind level, the children are called potential delinquents and when they actually indulge in action, they are called actual delinquents. Both are equally bad and harmful to the society.
The essential feature of delinquent character whether potential or actual is due to ‘momentary pleasure seeking’ impulses arising with the children now and on. It is noteworthy that the delinquents have no control over this character or give a check against the impulses. Consequently, they continue to indulge in antisocial activities until being detected and caught with red hand. The basic reason for delinquency is the home condition and friends circle.

Aggressiveness:
Aggressiveness is a show of temper. It is sometimes normal and usual. Such character is serious when it is persistent and unusual in certain cases. Aggressive children are problem children only in case of unusual and unnecessary behavior in one hand as well as regular and persistent on the other hand.
There are two types of aggressiveness. One type is to cause damage on other objects and people. They are called the ‘sadistic’ with externalized cause from the surrounding world. The other type is to express the anger on himself and are called the ‘masochistic’ with internalized reasons. The children are tyrants in school, feel frustrated, interfere in others’ affair, need love from others, adventurous and feel unsecured.

Obstinacy:
Obstinate children are always contradicting, rebellious with others, arguing for everything, not flexible but rigid in many things. Obstinacy is similar to aggressiveness. The behavior will be somewhat rude and rough. Disobedience is another nature with obstinate children. In many cases, it is due to sibling rivalry when the parents show unequal importance for different children of their own. Obstinate children try to get the things done by such indifferent behavior towards others particularly with the parents.

Shyness and hesitation:
Feeling shyness in everything is another problem with many children. If there is meaningless shyness and hesitation, the children cannot do anything with own effort. Such children are always in the mercy of their parents and friends in getting the things done. It is a hurdle against the progress for the child and there is less chance to achieve the goal.

Fear, anger and anxiety:
These qualities are undesirable since they give a set back for doing anything with confidence. For anything, confidence is mostly needed for achieving the goal. If there is meaningless fear and anger, the child will be loosing many things to own. Fear is a submissive character and anger is destructive character. Eagerness is a desirable character while undue anxiety causes personal disappointment in some cases.

Conclusion:
Problem children are to be tackled with utmost care by the parents at home and by the teachers in school. If not, everything will be becoming worst.
It is suggested i) To monitor the children in all activities
ii) To send them to special schools if necessary
iii) To give freedom at home to some extent
iv) To separate from bad friends
v) To provide good atmosphere at home
vi) To make them realize the moral values of life
vii) To teach them good habits
viii) To make them understand the pains given to others
ix) To provide medical treatment in some cases
x) To make them realize the values of ‘good habits’ and evils of ‘bad habits’.
By close and continuous observation in general, problem children can be treated and made good citizens.

OVERCOMING BAD HABITS

Good and Bad habits:

Bad habits are only literally sounding bad since they play the role of good habits with some individuals. This is because they are justified by their way of reasoning on the defensive side though the results are not desirable to the society. It is to be unanimously accepted that bad habits are easily susceptible to any person than their counter role. It is absolutely true that they are more harmful than any other devised weapon. Unless and otherwise the individual comes to realize the dangers to the social culture, they continue to be only as good things in his conceptual justification. As such, attempts should be made by others to make the individual realize his wrong choice along with giving tips to follow in doing away with the bad habits.

i) Realizing as black dots:
The individual must be made realizing that bad habits are ruining mind towards a peaceless life. This realization cannot be effected all of a sudden but only in gradual measures. If the individual himself realizes, doing away with the undesirable habits becomes easy going. For this, he needs proper education as well as good friends.

ii) Recognizing the root cause:
If an individual is possessed with bad habits in others view, they should be focused as evils within him spoiling his self esteem resulting loss of faith and respect in the society to which he is a part. He should helped by offering counseling to discover the root cause for the same. If it is done, then the next thing to drop it away may become quite easy and enlightening.

iii) Alternative choice of approved behaviors:
Once the root cause for the bad habits is identified, the individual may be suggested convincingly to choose alternative habits but with confirmation that they are not again harmful to others. Simultaneously, there should be no loss of confidence in him to feel that he is loosing something of his own right. For example, an individual all the time chewing pawns with tobacco may be advised to use chewing gums or some sweet nuts and dry fruits. This may effect a transformation from ‘bad’ to ‘good’.

iv) Self confinence with voluntary mind:
The individual should try to convince himself that he is paving his way of life with desirable behaviors. This confidence if created voluntarily, then the process of shifting or throwing away bad habits is definite and decided.

v) Determination of mind:
If a choice is made to do away with the bad habits aiming to acquire good habits in future, there should be no oscillation in his determination at mind level. For this, the individual should practice his will power to cultivate in him better things for desirable effects as to be admitted by others. Will power alone can make the individual to be firm in his choice of good habits leaving away the bad ones.

vi) Quick action:
Once the individual realizes his status as an undesirable one and comes forward voluntarily for adopting good habits, he should act quickly to beat enemy namely bad habits. He should not think back again to reconsider. Reconsideration may sometimes collapse his strong will and whim. If time is allowed after realizing, it may tilt his mind to step down in his efforts towards better corner. So, need for quick action is desirable in this matter of breaking of bad habits.

Conclusion:
Forming bad habits is easy at first thought. But it cannot be denied that forming of good habits too is easy for an individual extending cooperation to others advice. Self realization is rare. It is the duty of the parents and teachers to help the students in this affair. Elders have a major role in molding the youngsters as good citizens.

EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS OF CHILDREN

Emotion is a complex mental experience involving body and mind. It implies a state of being exited, stirred up and disturbed in one way or another. It is different from ordinary feeling. Emotion is a feeling but not vice versa. Feeling is more localized while emotion is more intense. It is with all humans and animals too. Age is not a factor for emotional disturbance. It is noteworthy that emotional variations can be seen in children from birth itself. Some parents are not aware of the related problems as follows at various stages of growth.

During infancy stage:
At this stage, since the emotions are based on instincts of the growing organism, the emotional responding may not be meaningful. Emotional problems are mostly biological hunger, thirst and fear which can be compensated or subsided by the mother through proper care extended to the child.

During early childhood:
During this stage, problems arise on account of emotional inconveniences as follows.
i) Dominance of unpleasant hazards like anger, jealousy and fear with a little amount of pleasant emotions. This imbalance distorts the outlook of the child on life with pessimism making the child feel the environment unpleasing. The child develops such unpleasant temperament resulting in gloomy facial expressions.
ii) Inability to establish an emotional tie up with significant persons, especially the mother and other family members due to some reason or other. Lack of attachment with mother and absence of cordial relationship with others depress the child without the related pleasure involved. Also lack of affection from others makes the child self bound and have no emotional exchange with others.
iii) Too much affection or over dependence on a single person, probably the mother, makes the child often unsecured and anxious which give the child detachment from peers.
iv) Failure to have attachments to animate or inanimate objects enhances unnecessary anxiety in new situations.

During late childhood:
During this stage, some problems become a little intense and a few new problems starting as listed below.
i) At this period, the children are considered immature when compared with the age-mates and adults in times of unacceptable emotional expressions such as anger, fear and jealousy.
ii) Lack of mind adjustments with and by the peer group.
Iii) Emotional distress and frustration affect effective learning at school. Many teachers fail to convince and guide properly.
Intense, long durational and recurring emotions affect health.

Duties of the parents:
It is the duty of the parents that the age-wise need based problems of the child are understood and measures taken for solving them by giving due recognition to the individuality. The ambitions of the child should be taken into account for proper treatment. Attachment with love and affection reduce the emotions of the child.