TACKLING OF LIFE PROBLEMS

Problem solving process:
Human mind is always occupied with anxieties about life and facing environmental problems. Darwin’s theory emphasizes that survival is a gift only for the fittest. Life is swimming against the stream flow where many global warming problems come across which should be boldly faced and solution sought. As such, you should know the strategies in tackling of life problems. Human philosophy is that life is with full of hurdles and deceptive experiences. The individual has the liberty for trial and error method to problem solving of any type in family life with wealth and poverty.

Types of Problems:
a) Daily problems: Minor in nature, arising and fading away daily which cannot be avoided
b) Temporary problems: Purely temporary but prolonging a few days to fade away.
c) Life long problem: Long durational and in some cases having no permanent solution.
d) Teenage problems: Connected with study, habits, alcohol abuse, sex and security.

Regarding type (a) problem, you need not fear and worry about the same. Type (b) problems can be borne and solved by using problem solving skills with some efforts. They are not long standing. But type (c) problems are tracking the individuals to pessimism. Some of these cannot be solved totally but the intensity be minimized to some level. As such, you should have knowledge in the techniques and strategies in tackling of life problems strategies. Here, you have the liberty to use the service of your friends, no harm. Type (d) problems may be any of the types (a), (b) and (c).

Problem solving steps:
Problems cannot be solved all of a sudden. Problem solving techniques should be followed with some physical baseline supporting for solution. There are five steps to problem solving and decision making.
1. Sensing the problem: The presence of the problem should be identified at its initial stage
2. Comprehension of the problem: The nature of the problem is defined with the facts gathered.
3. Formulation of hypothesis: It is the planning stage of draft plans as problem solving tools
4. Selection of the plan: One right plan is selected after a good evaluation of validity
5. Verification of the plan: The plan selected is verified by applying in solving problems.

Problem solving strategies:
An individual is expected to possess the basic skills like patience and decision making with an understanding about life. Care should be taken in drafting and selecting the plan for action. If the selected plan works successfully, you feel satisfied. If it is unfortunately otherwise, you should not become dejected but try an alternative plan at reserve and a good solution is achieved. Is it not surprising to think that the tackling of life problems and solving involves such a procedure with wise strategies?

TACKLING PROBLEM CHILDREN

Problems classified:
Psychologically, problems can be classified into two types. One type is the problems 'to the children' both physically and mentally. The other type is the problems 'by the children' in various matters affecting the whole atmosphere of the family.
Type.I problems are related to speech, handicapped, left handedness, bad dreams, nightmares, nails biting, thumb sucking, etc.
Type.II problems are related to delinquency, aggressiveness, bullying, obstinacy, temper tantrums, telling lies, sibling rivalry, etc.

Identifying the problems:
Type.I problems are normally physical problems while the others are mental based. The former can be identified and cured if proper medical care is taken. But the later can neither be easily identified nor be cured absolutely. The parents find it difficult when the second type problems are with their children. Only experts in psychology can analyze the problems by counseling and suggest remedy. The various ‘problems by the children’ are discussed as follows.

Delinquency:
We know stealing, gambling, cheating, violence, pick pocketing, raping and similar such antisocial acts are criminal natured. If any of one such is committed by an adult, he or she is punished with penalty or imprisonment or both. When such things are done by children upto twelve years, they are called delinquencies. Again they are of two types called potential delinquents and actual delinquents. When the criminal acts are at mind level, the children are called potential delinquents and when they actually indulge in action, they are called actual delinquents. Both are equally bad and harmful to the society.
The essential feature of delinquent character whether potential or actual is due to ‘momentary pleasure seeking’ impulses arising with the children now and on. It is noteworthy that the delinquents have no control over this character or give a check against the impulses. Consequently, they continue to indulge in antisocial activities until being detected and caught with red hand. The basic reason for delinquency is the home condition and friends circle.

Aggressiveness:
Aggressiveness is a show of temper. It is sometimes normal and usual. Such character is serious when it is persistent and unusual in certain cases. Aggressive children are problem children only in case of unusual and unnecessary behavior in one hand as well as regular and persistent on the other hand.
There are two types of aggressiveness. One type is to cause damage on other objects and people. They are called the ‘sadistic’ with externalized cause from the surrounding world. The other type is to express the anger on himself and are called the ‘masochistic’ with internalized reasons. The children are tyrants in school, feel frustrated, interfere in others’ affair, need love from others, adventurous and feel unsecured.

Obstinacy:
Obstinate children are always contradicting, rebellious with others, arguing for everything, not flexible but rigid in many things. Obstinacy is similar to aggressiveness. The behavior will be somewhat rude and rough. Disobedience is another nature with obstinate children. In many cases, it is due to sibling rivalry when the parents show unequal importance for different children of their own. Obstinate children try to get the things done by such indifferent behavior towards others particularly with the parents.

Shyness and hesitation:
Feeling shyness in everything is another problem with many children. If there is meaningless shyness and hesitation, the children cannot do anything with own effort. Such children are always in the mercy of their parents and friends in getting the things done. It is a hurdle against the progress for the child and there is less chance to achieve the goal.

Fear, anger and anxiety:
These qualities are undesirable since they give a set back for doing anything with confidence. For anything, confidence is mostly needed for achieving the goal. If there is meaningless fear and anger, the child will be loosing many things to own. Fear is a submissive character and anger is destructive character. Eagerness is a desirable character while undue anxiety causes personal disappointment in some cases.

Conclusion:
Problem children are to be tackled with utmost care by the parents at home and by the teachers in school. If not, everything will be becoming worst.
It is suggested i) To monitor the children in all activities
ii) To send them to special schools if necessary
iii) To give freedom at home to some extent
iv) To separate from bad friends
v) To provide good atmosphere at home
vi) To make them realize the moral values of life
vii) To teach them good habits
viii) To make them understand the pains given to others
ix) To provide medical treatment in some cases
x) To make them realize the values of ‘good habits’ and evils of ‘bad habits’.
By close and continuous observation in general, problem children can be treated and made good citizens.

OVERCOMING BAD HABITS

Good and Bad habits:

Bad habits are only literally sounding bad since they play the role of good habits with some individuals. This is because they are justified by their way of reasoning on the defensive side though the results are not desirable to the society. It is to be unanimously accepted that bad habits are easily susceptible to any person than their counter role. It is absolutely true that they are more harmful than any other devised weapon. Unless and otherwise the individual comes to realize the dangers to the social culture, they continue to be only as good things in his conceptual justification. As such, attempts should be made by others to make the individual realize his wrong choice along with giving tips to follow in doing away with the bad habits.

i) Realizing as black dots:
The individual must be made realizing that bad habits are ruining mind towards a peaceless life. This realization cannot be effected all of a sudden but only in gradual measures. If the individual himself realizes, doing away with the undesirable habits becomes easy going. For this, he needs proper education as well as good friends.

ii) Recognizing the root cause:
If an individual is possessed with bad habits in others view, they should be focused as evils within him spoiling his self esteem resulting loss of faith and respect in the society to which he is a part. He should helped by offering counseling to discover the root cause for the same. If it is done, then the next thing to drop it away may become quite easy and enlightening.

iii) Alternative choice of approved behaviors:
Once the root cause for the bad habits is identified, the individual may be suggested convincingly to choose alternative habits but with confirmation that they are not again harmful to others. Simultaneously, there should be no loss of confidence in him to feel that he is loosing something of his own right. For example, an individual all the time chewing pawns with tobacco may be advised to use chewing gums or some sweet nuts and dry fruits. This may effect a transformation from ‘bad’ to ‘good’.

iv) Self confinence with voluntary mind:
The individual should try to convince himself that he is paving his way of life with desirable behaviors. This confidence if created voluntarily, then the process of shifting or throwing away bad habits is definite and decided.

v) Determination of mind:
If a choice is made to do away with the bad habits aiming to acquire good habits in future, there should be no oscillation in his determination at mind level. For this, the individual should practice his will power to cultivate in him better things for desirable effects as to be admitted by others. Will power alone can make the individual to be firm in his choice of good habits leaving away the bad ones.

vi) Quick action:
Once the individual realizes his status as an undesirable one and comes forward voluntarily for adopting good habits, he should act quickly to beat enemy namely bad habits. He should not think back again to reconsider. Reconsideration may sometimes collapse his strong will and whim. If time is allowed after realizing, it may tilt his mind to step down in his efforts towards better corner. So, need for quick action is desirable in this matter of breaking of bad habits.

Conclusion:
Forming bad habits is easy at first thought. But it cannot be denied that forming of good habits too is easy for an individual extending cooperation to others advice. Self realization is rare. It is the duty of the parents and teachers to help the students in this affair. Elders have a major role in molding the youngsters as good citizens.

EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS OF CHILDREN

Emotion is a complex mental experience involving body and mind. It implies a state of being exited, stirred up and disturbed in one way or another. It is different from ordinary feeling. Emotion is a feeling but not vice versa. Feeling is more localized while emotion is more intense. It is with all humans and animals too. Age is not a factor for emotional disturbance. It is noteworthy that emotional variations can be seen in children from birth itself. Some parents are not aware of the related problems as follows at various stages of growth.

During infancy stage:
At this stage, since the emotions are based on instincts of the growing organism, the emotional responding may not be meaningful. Emotional problems are mostly biological hunger, thirst and fear which can be compensated or subsided by the mother through proper care extended to the child.

During early childhood:
During this stage, problems arise on account of emotional inconveniences as follows.
i) Dominance of unpleasant hazards like anger, jealousy and fear with a little amount of pleasant emotions. This imbalance distorts the outlook of the child on life with pessimism making the child feel the environment unpleasing. The child develops such unpleasant temperament resulting in gloomy facial expressions.
ii) Inability to establish an emotional tie up with significant persons, especially the mother and other family members due to some reason or other. Lack of attachment with mother and absence of cordial relationship with others depress the child without the related pleasure involved. Also lack of affection from others makes the child self bound and have no emotional exchange with others.
iii) Too much affection or over dependence on a single person, probably the mother, makes the child often unsecured and anxious which give the child detachment from peers.
iv) Failure to have attachments to animate or inanimate objects enhances unnecessary anxiety in new situations.

During late childhood:
During this stage, some problems become a little intense and a few new problems starting as listed below.
i) At this period, the children are considered immature when compared with the age-mates and adults in times of unacceptable emotional expressions such as anger, fear and jealousy.
ii) Lack of mind adjustments with and by the peer group.
Iii) Emotional distress and frustration affect effective learning at school. Many teachers fail to convince and guide properly.
Intense, long durational and recurring emotions affect health.

Duties of the parents:
It is the duty of the parents that the age-wise need based problems of the child are understood and measures taken for solving them by giving due recognition to the individuality. The ambitions of the child should be taken into account for proper treatment. Attachment with love and affection reduce the emotions of the child.

HOW TO ENHANCE YOUR MEMORY

Meaning and definition of Memory:

Learning is a mental process which is practiced and experienced throughout one’s life. There are many levels in learning. It is a continuous process with any human and animal. What is learnt once should be utilized. Utilization is possible only when the experiences gained during learning by someway or other is retained in mind. The ability to retain or store the past experiences of learning and utilizing later is called `Memory’. It is the power of conscious recall. It is difficult to recall anything when there is no understanding. In the words of Ryburn, ``The power to store our experiences and to bring them into the field of consciousness some time after the experiences have occurred is termed as Memory.” The reproduction or revival is judged in terms of quality and desired results.

Types of memory:
a) Immediate memory: That memory which helps to recall something in a fraction of a second after perceiving the object or receiving the impulse from a stimulus. The time of retention is very short by a fraction to a few seconds. Old sense impressions disappear in a few seconds. Past impressions are erased and replaced by new ones. Such type of memory is needed very often. A good example is the remembering of the ticket number and a casual phone number.

b) Short term memory: This is also temporary but a little more than the immediate memory in time factor. The time for such type of memory is upto 30 seconds. By rehearsal and regular practice, the time of memory can be extended to a few more seconds.

c) Long term memory: A special capacity is required to store the experiences. No rehearsal is needed and there is no decay of memory. Coding arrangement is done in mind by the brain for permanent memory. Bringing back for use is at ease.

d) Rote memory: The case of memorizing a matter without understanding is called rote memory. Memorising a rhyme or some vedic slogans without understanding is an example for rote memory.

Improving memory:
i) Memory is not simply a process of reproduction but it comprises four factors namely learning, retaining, recalling and recognizing. To improve all these, two methods are suggested. One method is learning as a whole when the unit is small.
ii) The other method is learning by parts when the matter is lengthy in size. Again, regular practice enlightens memory.
iii) Learning by doing is best suggestive wherever possible
iv) Instead of mere reading, it gives good result when short notes are taken on the material
v) Learning by group discussion also helps for memory

Forgetting is a gift:
In the words of N.L.Nunn, ``Forgetting is the loss, permanent or temporary, of the ability to recall or recognize something learned earlier.”
Whether fortunate or unfortunate one may think, forgetting follows with memory in many cases. It would be impossible and even foolish to attempt to retain in memory all the daily experiences. Forgetting is a part of our day to day experience. It is most rapid during the first four months of learning. In general, less than half of what is learned is retained at the end of two years. The factors of forgetting are as follows:
i) Lapse of time
ii) Repression and not willing to recall.
iii) Psychological factors like stress, anxiety, lack of interest, aversion, & psychic problems
iv) Biological factors like old age, diseases, mal-functioning of brain, and nervous system, accidents, consumption of liquor, using of intoxicating materials, etc.

While one feels to say that memory is a gift for somebody, it is true equally for forgetting also. Happy things are to be remembered for ever while unpleasant experiences are to be forgotten. If not, they become burdens by mind level which throw the individual in stress and strain resulting to health problems.

PSYCHOLOGY OF LYING

Psychology and liars:

Psychology is a surprising and wonderful subject by means of which a person is enabled to study the minds of the individuals. It is an art in the sense that everything concerned with the individual is defined clearly and discussed elaborately. It is a science in the sense that there are experiments conducted in studying the characteristics of the persons with individual difference. Using the knowledge of mind reading process, an expert can identify and expose the liars. There are some special methods to detect a liar prevalent and hiding everywhere.

Characteristics of a liar:

Liars are in general busy and cautious with the environment. They know if they are exposed, the society will not believe them. To escape from this danger, a liar takes special efforts and pull on their way. A liar uses the promising words ‘I am telling only truth’. They try repeatedly one message to establish its validity and reliability. They behave in an extraordinary way of activities too. To hide their inefficiency in certain things, they choose lying as an alternative weapon. Comparing the real back ground of the individual and his words, an expert will easily identify him as a liar.

Where are the liars?:
The answer to this question is very simple but really surprising may not be believable. This suspense lies in the fact that liars are everywhere at all places irrespective of sex and age. There is a research report saying that any human is thrown to circumstances to tell a lie at least once in three or four weeks which is really interesting. This is known as delusive lying with the following qualities in general.
->Lying is avoided when in face-to-face meet.
-> Liars choose phone as the best channel for lying
-> Lying is chosen for futile reasons, may be for fun and mockery too
-> Lying is repeated for establishing a true image
-> Sometimes lying is exaggerated for some hidden reason

Is lying a criminal act?
There are two answers for this question. Any answer should be justified for its strength. Lying is not a criminal act even though it may be serious. If a person chooses to tell a lie for a better thing, it may be admitted in spite of its serious nature. If by lying some damage is caused to good name, property or good opinion and good image, it cannot be borne with patience. Alternatively, when a person comes forward to tell one or two lying words in the interest of a genuine person in danger and genuine property to be saved, it is admissible for good reasons. So, it is an undeniable fact that lying is not always harmful. It is so only when it is for bad consequences. Definitely, lying for good things is harmless. It is not punishable only for its seriousness but for the purpose behind it.